So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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