haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
