dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
