Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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