Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
