why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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