Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
