Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
