im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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