when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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