To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
