if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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