Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
