no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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