If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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