nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
