she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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