sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
