don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
