You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
