Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
