dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
