is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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