I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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