It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
