I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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