Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
