Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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