How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
