I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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