is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
