He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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