do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
