You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
