i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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