Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
