it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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