if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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