If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
