After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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