Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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