you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
