I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
