you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
