You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
