i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
