i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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