She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
