is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i think i have two assholes
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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