I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
