i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
