I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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