I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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